Having been raised in the church all of my life I believed that to think about loving yourself was selfish, self-centered, and certainly not godly. I frequently, well pretty much always, gave up what I wanted so that others could have what they wanted and all in the name of loving others. After all, Jesus said the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself, right? Well at least I got the first part right. It was the loving myself part where I failed miserably.
But once I gave myself permission to love myself, which by the way was no easy task, the result was I learned to love life in general and my life in particular. So for those who are not sure how to love themselves without feeling guilty, here are three simple ways to begin to love yourself and feel good about it.
1. Forgive Yourself
I have found that many times we recognize the need to forgive others but may not be aware that we need to forgive ourselves as well. We have all made mistakes. We’ve said or done things that we are not proud of. But what about forgiving yourself for the things you didn’t know. Forgive yourself for the decisions you made in life because you didn’t know you had other choices. Forgive yourself for not taking responsibility for your life. Forgive yourself for not making changes sooner. Normally when we ask others for forgiveness we hope and pray they will acquiesce. This time you don’t’ have to wonder. It’s all in your control. Forgive yourself and your heart will open to freely love yourself.
2. Own your goodness
I’m not here for a theological debate on whether or not mankind is inherently good. One thing that I know for sure is that we all were created in the image or likeness of a good and perfect God. So with that being said, we can infer that there is at least something good and perfect about us. Now I don’t mean that “everything” about us is good and perfect but there is something good in us or about us. It might be internal or external. Take note of the things you do well or are good at. Identify the physical qualities you like about yourself. Look back on the things others have complimented you on. These are the things that are good about you. Now if you’re like me I was uncomfortable receiving compliments and even more uncomfortable complimenting myself. But if you recognize that the good things about you are a direct result of the goodness of God, that’s worth celebrating! Embrace it! Live it boldly, not in a cocky manner but in gratitude.
3. Do for yourself as you do for those you love
We’ve all heard the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” That goes back to loving your neighbor as yourself, right? Well, my problem was I treated others better than myself and in most cases neglected myself. Once I appreciated my own self-worth I gave myself permission to do for me like I do for others. So if you like to buy gifts for those you love, be okay with buying gifts for yourself. If you give others your time and attention, start giving yourself the time and attention you deserve. If you like to cook a gourmet meal for others to enjoy, cook it for you to enjoy as well. Bottom line is if it’s good enough for someone else, then it’s good enough for you too.
So if you do these three things, your love for yourself will soar and so will your love for your life. Your family and friends might notice a change and they should. They will notice you are happier, you smile more and are even more relaxed. Once I learned to love myself the transformation was so apparent that my relatives assumed I was in a new relationship. And they were right. I was in a new and exciting relationship with myself and loving every minute of it!
Comment below and tell me how your life has transformed as a result of learning to love yourself or share if any of these tips are a challenge for you.
Click Here to work with Roz to transform your life and live your dreams.
1. Forgive Yourself
I have found that many times we recognize the need to forgive others but may not be aware that we need to forgive ourselves as well. We have all made mistakes. We’ve said or done things that we are not proud of. But what about forgiving yourself for the things you didn’t know. Forgive yourself for the decisions you made in life because you didn’t know you had other choices. Forgive yourself for not taking responsibility for your life. Forgive yourself for not making changes sooner. Normally when we ask others for forgiveness we hope and pray they will acquiesce. This time you don’t’ have to wonder. It’s all in your control. Forgive yourself and your heart will open to freely love yourself.
2. Own your goodness
I’m not here for a theological debate on whether or not mankind is inherently good. One thing that I know for sure is that we all were created in the image or likeness of a good and perfect God. So with that being said, we can infer that there is at least something good and perfect about us. Now I don’t mean that “everything” about us is good and perfect but there is something good in us or about us. It might be internal or external. Take note of the things you do well or are good at. Identify the physical qualities you like about yourself. Look back on the things others have complimented you on. These are the things that are good about you. Now if you’re like me I was uncomfortable receiving compliments and even more uncomfortable complimenting myself. But if you recognize that the good things about you are a direct result of the goodness of God, that’s worth celebrating! Embrace it! Live it boldly, not in a cocky manner but in gratitude.
3. Do for yourself as you do for those you love
We’ve all heard the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” That goes back to loving your neighbor as yourself, right? Well, my problem was I treated others better than myself and in most cases neglected myself. Once I appreciated my own self-worth I gave myself permission to do for me like I do for others. So if you like to buy gifts for those you love, be okay with buying gifts for yourself. If you give others your time and attention, start giving yourself the time and attention you deserve. If you like to cook a gourmet meal for others to enjoy, cook it for you to enjoy as well. Bottom line is if it’s good enough for someone else, then it’s good enough for you too.
So if you do these three things, your love for yourself will soar and so will your love for your life. Your family and friends might notice a change and they should. They will notice you are happier, you smile more and are even more relaxed. Once I learned to love myself the transformation was so apparent that my relatives assumed I was in a new relationship. And they were right. I was in a new and exciting relationship with myself and loving every minute of it!
Comment below and tell me how your life has transformed as a result of learning to love yourself or share if any of these tips are a challenge for you.
Click Here to work with Roz to transform your life and live your dreams.
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