Valentine’s Day just passed and as expected love filled the air. Restaurants were booked to capacity. Flower shops could hardly keep up with the last minute frenzy. Chocolate sales spiked and social media was flooded with posts and images of couples declaring their love for one another to the world. If you are happily single as I am then your face and your heart could not help but smile at the many displays of love all around. But there are still some people in relationships that have a misunderstood or sometimes twisted view of my singlehood. They really have a hard time believing that I am single and happy. So for those who are anxious for me and other singles to be in a relationship here are five important truths we want you to know.
1. Being single is not a curse.
My singlehood does not mean that there is something wrong with me. God is not punishing me for some unforgiveable sin. So please do not feel sorry for me or have pity on me. In fact, God has blessed me so much in my singlehood that I can genuinely be happy for you. Being single just happens to be my choice.
2. Singlehood is not contagious.
There are some couples who inaccurately believe that they can only have married friends. There is this false perception that if your mate hangs out with singles then their single friends could somehow have a negative influence on them and ruin their “good thing”. The truth is if your relationship is built on love and respect there is no person or force in hell that can tear you apart. If you are insecure in your relationship, that’s your issue with your mate. Don’t blame me. This also leads me to my next point.
3. I don’t want your Boo.
As a confident single person, the last thing I want is what you have. If I want to be in a relationship there are enough singles to choose from. Every single woman does not want your man and vice versa. If you are in a relationship and especially if you know you have a good man or woman, I am genuinely happy for you and am rallying for you to defy the statistics so there is no need to feel threatened.
4. Everyone does not want to be married.
Marriage is honorable and beautiful. It was ordained by God so when done right is a perfect reflection of God’s love for his creation. But I happen to enjoy being single. I was married for almost 20 years before I was divorced so I know what it takes to stay married. No, I am not bitter because I am divorced nor do I have a distaste for marriage so don’t think that I “just haven’t found the right one”. I’m not looking for the right one because I happen to love being single. Yet, there are some singles who want to be married one day but they know they are not ready for marriage at this time. Don’t rush them. Stop asking them when are they going to get married. Support them wherever they are at this time without rushing them or judging them.
5. It’s fun being single.
Yes, it’s actually fun to be single! The smiles and happiness you see is not a façade to hide my misery of being single. I’m not faking it until I make it. I already made it and I love my life as a single person. I get to live my life on my terms. I can explore or pursue different interests at will. I have awesome relationships with married and single friends. I enjoy supporting and celebrating marriages and anniversaries with others. Singleness is not bondage and neither is marriage when done right.
So, if you are in a relationship, enjoy it to the fullest and support us confident singles as we enjoy our singlehood and support you. No need to feel sorry for us. No need to pity us. No need to feel threatened by us. No need to rush us. And no need to envy us. We love you and happen to love ourselves too.
So to all the couples, I hope your Valentine’s Day was as special as you are because mine certainly was.
Comment below on how your Valentine's Day was made special.
My singlehood does not mean that there is something wrong with me. God is not punishing me for some unforgiveable sin. So please do not feel sorry for me or have pity on me. In fact, God has blessed me so much in my singlehood that I can genuinely be happy for you. Being single just happens to be my choice.
2. Singlehood is not contagious.
There are some couples who inaccurately believe that they can only have married friends. There is this false perception that if your mate hangs out with singles then their single friends could somehow have a negative influence on them and ruin their “good thing”. The truth is if your relationship is built on love and respect there is no person or force in hell that can tear you apart. If you are insecure in your relationship, that’s your issue with your mate. Don’t blame me. This also leads me to my next point.
3. I don’t want your Boo.
As a confident single person, the last thing I want is what you have. If I want to be in a relationship there are enough singles to choose from. Every single woman does not want your man and vice versa. If you are in a relationship and especially if you know you have a good man or woman, I am genuinely happy for you and am rallying for you to defy the statistics so there is no need to feel threatened.
4. Everyone does not want to be married.
Marriage is honorable and beautiful. It was ordained by God so when done right is a perfect reflection of God’s love for his creation. But I happen to enjoy being single. I was married for almost 20 years before I was divorced so I know what it takes to stay married. No, I am not bitter because I am divorced nor do I have a distaste for marriage so don’t think that I “just haven’t found the right one”. I’m not looking for the right one because I happen to love being single. Yet, there are some singles who want to be married one day but they know they are not ready for marriage at this time. Don’t rush them. Stop asking them when are they going to get married. Support them wherever they are at this time without rushing them or judging them.
5. It’s fun being single.
Yes, it’s actually fun to be single! The smiles and happiness you see is not a façade to hide my misery of being single. I’m not faking it until I make it. I already made it and I love my life as a single person. I get to live my life on my terms. I can explore or pursue different interests at will. I have awesome relationships with married and single friends. I enjoy supporting and celebrating marriages and anniversaries with others. Singleness is not bondage and neither is marriage when done right.
So, if you are in a relationship, enjoy it to the fullest and support us confident singles as we enjoy our singlehood and support you. No need to feel sorry for us. No need to pity us. No need to feel threatened by us. No need to rush us. And no need to envy us. We love you and happen to love ourselves too.
So to all the couples, I hope your Valentine’s Day was as special as you are because mine certainly was.
Comment below on how your Valentine's Day was made special.
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